Moods

Every now and then I feel lonely and sad. No matter who I talk to or whoever is around, I close myself in a bubble of solitude and beat myself to the core of my being, sucking the life within me to a dried shell of an existential pessimist. Memories rush through me like the the black clouds of rain on a summer evening and drench me with sorrow and grief to which there is no origin. My perspective on life changes and I look at it through a black lens of negative emotions. I feel as if there is no hope and no reason to be.

Then it dawns upon me that single thought of how lucky I am to be here, at this time. I remember about those families that have lost someone dear or about that mother whose child is missing. I contemplate in their pain my pitiful whining and give myself reason to stop such nonsense. I think about all those who have no home, no family. I regret my shameful negligence for being so dramatic when in reality I am so lucky to have all that which I have in my life.

I remind myself about the happy times, the tears of joy and laughter that far outweigh any hardship. And then I shut my eyes and fall asleep and I wake up the next day with a new outlook on life and with a smile. 

Moods are what keep us going, they keep us alive and ticking.