To Become a Man

The change that has occurred within me in the past few years has been life-changing. I am very much not the same person I was three or four years ago and I'm still changing. Recently I have been thinking about the man I want to be, about the traits I want to have and how I want to look to other people. I found myself wondering about my character and how this is translated into the world outside my personal sphere of thoughts and how I manage to express myself. I do believe that I don't express myself very clearly, and I find myself being thought as differently than what I really am by others. 

I want to start reading more and expand my knowledge of the world and of different cultures. I don't read too much, and this is not a good way of building a character with a holistic approach towards society. I also intend to buy good music I like more often, so as to support artists in their work and have an ever changing archive of what I consider as memories or emotions translated into sounds. 

Being respectful, trustworthy and never lying are three other pillars on which I build my character. To keep self-confident but never bolster, believe in your ideas but never be blind to new possibilities and to listen to people and understand what they are saying when spoken to, are also very important. To be yourself and never try to impress, but rather act out and say what you think in a respectful manner that does not harm anyone but rather makes them think and to ask and question more than to accept what is given to you and learn from mistakes. These ideas are what define me and what I strive to keep in my life. 

And finally, to appreciate life and never lose awe in the smallest of things. To recognize beauty and enjoy a laugh, and to smile in hard times. These are the traits that I want to build my character on and to become a humble person, a man.

Love Like a Sunset

"Day comes
Visible horizon
Right where it starts it ends
Oh and then we start the end

Day comes
A visible illusion
Oh where it starts it ends

Love like a sunset"

Phoenix

Man and Religion

There are too many people praising gods in this world, and very few appreciating their place in the universe. We should not look for god's existence but live the life that is given to us, for what is more beautiful to understand your place in this world without having to fight the fear of hell or the challenges to reach heaven?

If man lives by his virtues, bestowed upon him by morality, evolution and cultural and social development, and avoid any religious shackles, he would be truly free to live a good life, in which truth and compassion prosper. There would be no more excuses to fight in the name of gods or to create castes based on the idea that we are born according to a holy plan. There would be less poverty, for religion is not the tool to solving this problem. It is not religion that helps a dying man, but a loving heart, and these are found in every race or ethnicity. You do not need to be recognised as a saint to give all you have to those in need, for compassion is an emotion nurtured by family and not by religion. 

Religion is based on ancient ideologies, most of which break down in our modern society. They tend to help people aggregate in groups with the belief of a powerful ruler looking upon them. This helped quite a few tribes in the past to rebel against their tyrants, but what relevance does it have today? Politics is very similar to religion, for it is the art of influencing people. A society does not require religion to be controlled, nor does it require religion to give people a common goal. 

Education is an important factor in spreading religious ideology or eradicating it. Science is the step towards becoming more keen to learn about our surroundings and our place in it. When children learn, at a young age, to wonder and ask questions about what they see and cannot explain, they will grow to realise that religion has no sense in their life. The the beauty in their lives far outweighs the need for believing in a deity, because for them, the important fact is to be able to appreciate the beauty around them, and not waste time wondering about what could have created it. 

This is not to say that spirituality is not important. It must be made clear that spirituality and religion are two separate philosophies. I believe that spirituality exists because of the way we are built. The universe is chaotic, but life is order. Whenever we see order, we tend to associate it with life and benign feelings. To learn that our Earth is so tiny, and how life emerged on our planet and how distant we are from anything else out there, gives us a sense of unity and of purpose. We strive to maintain our species without destroying our planet, for there is no god to help us do save it and prevent us from becoming extinct. 

We are fragile little aggregates of ordered molecules created from a soup of chaos, living on a speck of dust in the vastness of everything that is. It would be a pity to waste our time to live without knowing this fact and without fighting to learn more about the beauty of everything around us. 

Moonbeam

In a moonbeam we talk about the little things of our lives. The music, the lights and the zombies around me. Such pitiful admiration. The sudden surge of energy and the night that's creeping in. And yet, my mind sways away from this hole in the ground to a memory that could have been, for now I am here and not there. 

What are we doing, sitting here, in a little grove under the moonbeam? 

Another Week

The weekend draws near. My physical strength dwindles close to collapse, my mental stability is almost jeopardized. Early mornings, late nights, little sleep. This is the life of a student. My life, and the lament of a thousand voices that I create behind me, in my mind, so as to emphasize my point and feel confident about it, even though there's no point in whining. 

This is going to be a long tiresome semester. I know I will meet my deadlines ahead of time, and I will work hard and waste no time. At least that's what the ideal me would do, but I'm not ideal. Far from that, I am a sloth, a creeping maggot on a silky cushion of warmth.  Wasting time is easy, being productive and efficient is not. My time is characterized by events; periods of long wasteful nonsense, and stressed-out, efficient working periods, that produce results that could have been achieved leisurely and way better earlier on. 

I guess this has always been me. I never really studied much, if at all, prior to exams in the past, and I grew in an environment littered with distractions. However, I do believe that these distractions made me who I am today, for I have learnt so much from my mistakes, which I still do. Learning is a life long process, and I am still building myself up while eroding my useless traits. Well, let's say there is no useless trait, for even these have their share in the formation of a character. 

What I tend to do now is stop writing, because even though I have only spent few minutes putting my thoughts into words, I am still creating my own distractions to avoid being efficient and avoid completing tasks which should have higher priorities. Priorities. What a word full of meaning, isn't it?

I need to work on my priorities. 

Negative Emotions

This is for all those who do not have anyone to share words with. For all those that are neglected, for those that are tucked somewhere in their own world, being chocked by reality. 

It is not rare to find people who seek refuge in their own solitude. I do so very often, to escape problems, to hide from fear. I have learnt to suppress tears. I'm not ashamed to admit that I used to cry a lot, but I got used to it and was constantly told to stop acting so childishly and I changed. I built a wall around me, and locked myself and my emotions in it. I blocked the only sink of negative emotions, which ended up flooding me. 

I found some comfort in music. The different melodies and sounds I experience reduce emotional discomfort or elevate others; like regrets and sadness to a tipping point where they can escape. 

People can be both the source and the ease of negative emotions. Laughter is a good remedy, even in harsh times. Best of all however, is a person to talk to, and to share anything that bothers you, because sharing burdens makes them appear less daunting. This act called friendship is blatantly mistreated, and very few friendships serve their true purposes any more. 

So writing has become another form of release. Words are the physical form of thoughts, and even though they do not accurately depict whatever churns somewhere inside this brain of mine, they can ease the stress on my system. Through reading, I hope that other people can be encouraged to find their own way at sharing such emotions, rather then suppressing them, because suppression is not a solution but avoidance. 

The Life of an Old Fisherman

The life of an old fisherman, on the edge of a cliff, a sunset curtain and a soft breeze.
His cast, an elegant swing of the pole perfected with time, the float that lends on the dancing waves, a cork as old as his wrinkled face.

The melody of the birds in cliff-side nests, a lizard scurries under a rock and a cricket hops on the dried blades of grass. In the distance, a village, and closed windows.

A fish on a hook, and the reeling of the prize of happiness and satisfaction. And the walk back home, the rubble walls and the stone and the carob tree.