From the archives, something that I wrote 4-5 years ago in 10 minutes when waiting on a couch at my grandma's, to leave for private tuition. I felt a kind of enlightenment, and this was the fruit of a surge of thoughts. Keep in mind how long this have been written, and thus I excuse myself for any grammatical or syntax errors. Also, my ideas have changed quite a lot from that day, but the essence is in this essay, and my ideas have all originated form this work:
"God. He, she or it, is someone many devote their lives to. God is pictured as a superhuman or a transparent floating ball that has the power to create and destroy on his own will, whenever, wherever and however he likes. However, these are all hypotheses man himself has created. The truth lies beyond imagination and beyond our hopes of finding a god. A god as we know it doesn't exist, but a much simpler, much more perfect 'God' does proliferate and his in his own way created us.
My idea lies on the fact that our basic knowledge is so futile to assume and depict our God. Hereafter I will try to explain how my vision of god is different and that for me 'God' itself is an improper word. 'Existence' should be the term used to describe creation, the universe and all the laws and the physical materials residing in it. Existence is energy, and it is energy that is god or if we say that god created energy then we are saying that god started the start. However, we know that the universe started from a big bang, as scientists denote. This bang is or was energy - a fixed amount. With 'time' it grew into a universe with planets and stars.
My idea is that if the universe was and will, that is had a start and beginning, then it never existed, or else will exist forever. This said we can therefore assume that god is part or whole of the universe. Existence on the other hand is the version of how things come and go. How causality, chance and energy shape each other to form a picture we can ultimately understand.
This picture is the universe itself, which in turn is a fixed energy, which is god - it will never change, never end, it never began. It was there from day one or else from day zero. The changing of this energy in matter and laws is only the picture we see, because ultimately the energy remains the same, in the same place, texture, space and time and thus there should be no change.
The force which makes Existence is Existence itself. This ultimate form of perfection has its own fluctuating habits. At the start, that is, when god or existence started the cycle of life - manufacturing forms in its own existence - we came to be. Life is therefore the routine of this existence. Like a tape rewinded and beginning from the start several times. So therefore why should such a perfect Existence have a routine? Simple. Existence is energy as we said and this untouchable soruce which takes shapes does so due to its own existence. It is like a god controlling a god to control humanity. Similarly, existence is one unity. It is bound to create things to amuse itself and to stabilize itself.
Ultimately, Existence is trying to understand itself. No god can understand why it is a god, because it is bound to be by its own. Existence was never created, it didn't even create itself, and therefore its manifesting the wish to understand or else react - give out signals - that manifest in forms, and planets.
When these forms or we can say the Existence's ideas, are created, they are bound by existence itself to ask questions, confronting their own existence, and as they do so they come to believe in a god, that is Existence itself. Thus, Existence can comfort itself that it, in its perfection, is indeed existing."
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