Tired

I am tired of acting as if I do not care of what other say of me. There comes a point in life when all the hills that you have climbed come crumbling down on you as you dare stray too far off the beaten track.  Be a man they said. But what is a man? Man is respect. Man is trust. Man is affection. I am tired of doubting. Doubting of others and being in doubt of myself. The truth is, I am tired of all of this work, of all of this insentient persistence to want, to fight for something more, for something lacking. For how long can we dream before dreams condense and drift away and we wake up?

A critical moment of awareness is all it takes for the vivid dreamer to shake his disillusioned mindset far away into the vastness of the past. I am tired of living in the future in my present form. Moments fleet as they transcend my conscious self and into my mind, which sleeps in daylight.

I am tired of all this. I am tired of thinking, of trying. Have a break Ryan. Yes, I said to myself, have a break.