Who Am I?

I do not understand myself. I try to make sense of all the dreams I dream of and of all those things that worry me, but I become more confused than reassured with every thought I conjure. I feel like I'm going crazy and that I am losing control over my mind.

I change with every word that is told me, and I act differently with every person I get to know. I become more like them the longer I am in their presence, and a bit of what was formerly me corrodes with every passing moment. People define who I am, the way I think, the way I act.

However, I do not think anyone really knows who I truly am, since I don't really know that myself. The truth is I am not a static character. I am a changing figure, like a black hole sucking ideas from those around it, and in the process, changing itself. So to know who I am, I must look at the eyes of those who I know, for they are part of who I am and who I shall become.

It's constraining to say whether this idea of myself is right or wrong. I would rather think that I am a concious being with an identity than the carrier of thoughts of those around me, but I do not see the negative side of this philosophy. Maybe that's the problem in all of this, that I have not yet came to grasp the truth about myself. I still have to find what makes me happy, and this should not be based in people around me. I have come to depend too much on other individuals, and  less on myself, and that has to change.

For I need to build myself with that deep intricate feeling of being me, rather than to satisfy what others would like me to be alike.